Fell off the wagon

So the last two weeks have not been very good. That's right not just a few days of not doing what I should but a whole fortnight!

I had a formal event two weeks ago, which means buffet, which means whoa I ate a lot. The next night I was exhausted and decided that it wouldn't be a big deal if I ate some high cal food. Over the next week I ate a lot at my school cafeteria, which is hard since it's all you can eat! Once I was eating bad I just got into a lazy funk, and I just like didn't care. I feel terrible now, I've gained some weight back, and feel gross because I haven't been eating very healthy. This weekend, with family dinners and a huge Easter brunch doesn't help!

BUT I am going into this week renewed. I am more dedicated than before, now that I've had this reminder of how bad being full and fat feels. I feel so confident when I feel thin, and so embarssed when I know I've over eaten. I am so ready, not only to lose this weight, but to feel some freaking self control and stop losing focus like I have been.

I can't even get on the scale, which is so wierd for me since I usually use it a few times a day (morning/nite/around meals) as a reminder of what my goals are. It's hard not knowing my number, but I'm going to wait until the end of the week, so at least the number won't be as bad, although I know it will still be higher than before.

But hey it's not all bad, I did do a 36 hour fast this week. I could have gone longer but I had a lunch meeting thing so I ate then. I am really surpried by that since I usually suck at it. I took some tips/motivation from bloggerland! I felt good, and not hungry at all. I think that I'm going to start fasting more often (try and do one this week.)

Hmm, ok well I'm going to check out some thinspo and go to the gym.

I hope everyone out there is doing well and feeling slim!